Monday, November 30, 2009

Ethics, Integrity....

I have been sitting in a room staring at a poster for the last 2 hours. The poster stares back at me, questioning, accusing. It just inccessantly looks at me. It demands an answer. It will not be silenced.

It wants to know, 'Are you ethical? Do you have integrity?' I can't quite look the poster in the eye or should I say that I can only glance at it out of the corner of my eye for fear that lightning bolts will erupt from it's serifs and attack me.

I keep contemplating its accusation. That somehow it knows that last week I left an hour early because I looked at the clock I have yet to reset for daylight savings and decided that really WAS 4:30. That it knows that I haven't heard a word that has been said in this meeting but I stay because it might be better than being at my desk doing actual work. Maybe it knows that I sold out and took a comfortable corporate gig instead of sticking out the underpaid but oh-so-rewarding prosecution job. Maybe it has already foretold that I want to cheat on my taxes and get a bigger refund. perhaps it is judging me because even though I make all the right sounds of horror and disbelief, I secretly knew your marriage wasn't going to work and kinda want to say 'I told you so'.

Really, I just want to yell at the damn piece of cardboard. "I am not a nice person and you can't make me." So no, to answer its question. I suppose I am not ethical and sold my integrity for vacation and 401k.