I did not drown, at least not physically

I am alive, I did not drown, although my storage unit did. Let me tell you...cleaning out a storage unit, transfering things to new boxes, throwing out trash, starting to reload said unit and realizing water is seeping in from the next door unit, removing all things from said unit, moving them to a unit on the next floor while the elevator is broken..all of that is not fun. It is even less fun in heels and dress clothes. I wouldn't recommend it.

The next day while carpooling to work, my car just died....at the exchange of two busy highways...in rush hour. Nothing like looking at the poor person who had the luck to be riding w/ you and say...um..we have a problem and begin drifting to the right shoulder as soon as possible. PS to tow truck drivers...clean out your seat...I am in an expensive dress and heels, I do not want to sit on a grease-covered rag. (how girly did that sound?) Also, two women discussing a relationship do not need running commentary from you about what you think. You have met us for all of two minutes, been condescending, you're coughing without covering your mouth. What qualifies you as an expert in her relationship? P.S. Asking a woman if she is dating a married man..not cool.

Oh yeah, and Mom dropped the bomb that the lumps we've been 'monitoring' have grown and she has an appointment with an oncologist who comes highly recommended and she looks forward to meeting the doctor. All said in a very off-hand way right before, "Oh, my show's on. Gotta go" Click. Dead silence. Me staring at the phone that says, 'Mom' Call ended. 15:25. She waits 15 minutes to drop that info in the last 25 secs of a phone call? What?

I'm gonna chalk that week up as lost somewhere underwater...or was it the enormous amout of alcohol?

Empty Office Shenanigans

I am the only person in my office today. No one else could be bothered to show up...something about flooding and 13 inches of rain overnight..blah blah blah. Whatever, I live 20 miles from work but I am here..slackers.

On a side note, while driving to work this morning my side of the freeways were eerily empty while the traffic going the other direction was bumper to bumper. I'm not complaining about the lack of traffic but it was like I was in one of those natural disaster action/adventure movies and I was driving into the disaster while everyone else was evacuating. I was seriously wondering if they knew something I didn't.

So I have spent the first hour and a half of work catching up on my blog reader, surfing the internet and in general screwing off. I am now blogging for your enjoyment but in the back of my mind I am thinking about what I am going to do with the completely empty office. I thought about going through all my coworkers' desks. I thought about turning up my radio and re-enacting scenes from Footloose in the hallway. I am disappointed that I took my movies out of my computer bag and took them home yesterday. I could be watching a movie! I even thought about calling up the monikerless man and satisfying a sex at work fantasy. I guess if all else fails I could actually *gasp* do some work.

I am hoping you all can come up with some other activities to do in my empty office to keep me from actually working. Any ideas?

Just because

I thought it was awesome. Do I need any other excuse?

Not Guility (I swear, I didn't know I was doing it)

I spend a lot of time on the phone with people I will never see face-to-face. I sometimes talk to the same people over and over again. I enjoy talking to some of these people a lot because they are funny. They don't take themselves so seriously. They appreciate that I am working my ass off to get their lease/tax/legal issue resolved.
I spent a lot of time in the last couple of months working out a lease for a single office for one of the satellite folks. He was very fun and started calling quite often. He also started calling my crackberry. I didn't really think much about it. He always had a legitimate work reason to call. Just chalked it up to a nice, funny guy.
Today he showed up in my office. (Apparently in town for some meetings) And then asked me out. AWKWARD! Apparently I had been flirting with him? How do I know this you ask? He told me that when I hesitated to accept his invitation...ie "well we'd be flirting so much back and forth on the phone I thought you'd like to go out"

As an attorney I do not believe I can be culpable as I didn't form the requisite mental state for flirting. There was no intention of flirting. So, arguably, the actus reus is present but the mens rea is absent so I cannot be guilty!

Ah sleep

Mystery of life that I am still trying to solve....

Why is it the best 10 minutes of sleep I get all night are the ones after the alarm has went off and I have hit snooze? Why can't I sleep like that the other 6 hours I am horizontal? Why does my body chose 6:30 and an annoying buzzing sound to decide it's finally ready to get into the rhythm?

And most important, why does this happen on days I have early morning meetings?????