My head is a scary place to be....

Hmmm...I was thinking about dumping a load of insecurity here, but then I thought it might ruin the cocky, self-assured attitude I've built here, and then I thought well screw it, it's my blog.


I am not good at relationships. Well, that's not completely true. I am GREAT at being friends. Unfortunately, I am not so good at anything else. Living in my head with my own voices and those from the past who will remain nameless is not always a good place to be.
For those of you who know me, you know the stories; for others: I was describing my past to a recent friend and she's like, "That's some heavy baggage to carry." I said, "I don't really carry it around anymore as much as it's in storage and every once in a while I drop by for a visit." Buh-lieve me when I say, this is progress.
I had a wonderful time tonight w/ my girlfriends but was supposed to be greeted by the other person in my new relationship when we were done w/ dinner. Call--there is no answer, text and no response. Now in all likelihood, this person is probably asleep on the couch or whatever having worked like a dog already this week. However, it's my B-day and feel like if nothing else there should have been a msg saying something to the effect of I'm tired and going to bed. I got a msg on my way to dinner saying have a good time but no response after. While I'm sure it is something that isn't a big deal, being in my head is a scary place. As a matter of fact, it is this type of thing that 6 months ago, regardless of the reason/apology/etc I would have quit taking calls, deleted the phone number and in general cut this person from my life. A year ago or more, there wouldn't have been a question of this happening b/c I wouldn't have given my number to someone. A bit reactionary, I know.
Now, I'm not sure what the appropriate response should be. I don't want to overreact but also am not gonna take BS sitting down. Sheesh, I am pathetic. And to think, I am a grown woman. I sound like a blithering idiotic teen.

Shit! This is why I don't date!!!! I don't even like people this much.

Anyway, I ended up having a happy evening with my friends even if it didn't end w/ a happy ending. :)
Gotta love the friends!


UPDATE:

So, I was overreacting. Go figure! As I suspected, he had fallen asleep and considering that he was been sick since that night I really can't be too upset. I can, however, blame him for getting me sick :P