Nicotine Fit

I miss smoking. I only gave it up 7 days ago and I miss it. There is a gaping hole in my life. I used to have set routines. I knew that when I woke up, I was going drink coffee and suck down a Marlboro. I knew that when I transferred from one highway to the next in the morning, I was going to light a cigarette. I knew what stoplight to light my last one to finish before I pulled into the parking lot at work. ---Believe me, I could go on.

Now, I know that quitting is a great thing. Smoking is a terrible, dirty, unhealthy habit. It will kill me one way or another eventually. People look down on people who smoke. "The Surgeon General says . . . blah, blah, blah."

Guess what, I don't care!!!!! I love smoking. I like the feeling as I inhale with the smoke going down the back of my throat. I like exhaling a cloud of smoke. I like having something to do with my hands, namely hold the cigarette. I know that it will kill me. My 'code' for a cigarette was, "Let's go shorten our life by 7 minutes." I used to joke (after my umpteenth failure to quit) that I quit being a quitter. My friends actually applauded.

I met some of my best friends in designated smoking areas. Smoking is exceedingly social. Why else would you stand outside in subfreezing weather talking to someone you don't know if there wasn't a cigarette involved? I know that I damn sure wouldn't.

Okay, obviously I could go on with why I love to smoke but this isn't helping at the moment. I thought blogging through the craving would make it go away but maybe I should have chose a topic that didn't involve cigarettes.