Friday, May 7, 2010

Another way to amuse yourself at work

So, my group at work is "leading by example"* and as a result, I have moved from my office to open plan. (Door, I love and miss you so). As such, I sit and stare at 3 other attorneys all day, one of whom came onboard about three weeks ago. Dilbert has nothing on us at this point. This morning, not really thinking that I am in full view of my co-workers, I take out my gallon-bag holding my daily prescriptions and start laying out my pills. As I am popping roughly 8 pills into my mouth I look up and see one of my co-workers staring at me. Now, I am not psychic but sometimes you just know what someone is thinking (or at least I pretend I do). As he watches me medicate myself, you can see him dying to ask why in the world I am taking all this medicine. Almost immediately after the curiosity, stark fear chases across his face. This man should never play poker.

I imagine his internal dialogue went something like this: "holy crap that's a lot of medicine. How can she swallow all of that at once? I wonder why she is taking all of that......dear lord, is she sick? Is it contagious? I am sitting less than 8 feet away with nothing between us!"
At this point, I smile at him and ask, "which explanation would scare you less: I am the resident drug dealer or that what I have isn't catching so long as you cross your fingers in front of you and say ewww cooties?"

I am strongly considering giving myself my weekly shot in front of him next week. Just imagining myself bare ass in front of my co-workers is enough to give myself a chuckle :)

*Leading by example-another fine example of corporate speak...translation: you're getting screwed but you have to be happy about it and sell it to everyone else.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Does it all even out in the end?

SO...I have been sitting here wondering about this today. Is it true that everyone gets what's coming to them? Is there a karmic balance sheet? If so, I think I gotta be due some good stuff but enough about that.
As I have been staring a spreadsheets and lamenting my life (why is a lawyer doing property taxes again?) I have been wondering if all that advice about making lists of pros and cons/pluses and minuses actually works. How do you quantify the nebulous? How to rate someone's muchness? If all the minuses are small but beginning to mount but the pluses are nebulous and hard to cound, is this a valid measure? Can all of a person be assessed as cells in a spreadsheet?

All of this nonsense is making me long for the days of grey, of the crazy hypothetical where there is no 'right' answer. I am living in a world of too much black and white/right and wrong etc. Where's the middle ground? Where does it balance out?