Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It sure helps his chances

Recently, I overheard a teenager's conversation on her cell phone. (NO, I was not eavesdropping, I followed at a very discreet distance so she MUST have been talking loud.) She says, "So I say to him, that while he is technically correct, I don't have to like him to sleep with him, it would sure help his chances."

This exchange confuses me. I am quite sure that I didn't realize I didn't actually have to like someone to have sex with them until sometime in college. Or maybe that was my marriage that taught me that? *mental shrug* I was really quite amazed. I couldn't decide if I should applaud the young, sexually-secure girl or cry for her lack of innocence.

Since I couldn't decide, I just wandered the store. I sat down in one of the chairs and struck a thinking pose. Could my social life really be on par with a teenager's? I mean really, at this point, I wouldn't have to actually LIKE someone for sex. Liking at this point is kind of moot. He must have a job, chew with his mouth closed, live on his own, breathe through his nose, have only one odd/disgusting/disturbing habit, be able to be seen in public during daylight hours, can make his way through a business/social situation with only one minor catastrophe, not be hung up on his mom, have a dependable mode of transportation (and a skateboard does not count), practice good hygiene, be literate, maintain at least a $20 balance in his checking account, and have no felonies on his record. Now, if I could find him, liking him would be beside the point. We would be having crazy-monkey sex. I would also be defending myself as several girlfriends might slit my throat while I sleep to steal his number.

So I can admit the girl was right. I don't have to like him, but it sure helps his chances.

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