Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Just keep walking, no matter what.

So I have long held to the theory that if you look like you know where you're going, no one will stop you to ask if you actually belong there. This trick has worked for me in the past, getting backstage at concerts and to locker rooms at sporting events. Today I found a new application for this trick. BTW, I am a bad person and karma is going to kick my ass.

MM's mom has been in the hospital in a nearby city. I have been going back and forth between where we live and this city to visit, help him, cook dinner for he and his sister, etc. Last night she took an unexpected turn and he stayed the night in the hospital. His sister and I went back to the house at roughly 2 am. I got up at 6, fed the dogs, etc. MM's dog is a big black lab who needs excercise to prevent him from being too hyper while locked in the house. So I set off on a walk with the dog at 6:30 am. I do not take baggies with me as I thought the business was done. The dog and I round the corner and are about halfway down the block where a woman is washing her car in the driveway. Who washes their car at 6:30 am? Anyway, as luck would have it, the dog decides he is having gastroinstestinal issues. He walks straight up this woman's driveway and proceeds to poo all over her concrete. I am mortified. I have no idea what to do. I have no baggies, the dog isn't on a leash (against the law), and he has just taken a dump on her driveway. In my mind, I run through a few possible scenarios but quickly decide that feigning ignorance is the best option.
In my pjs and flipflops with cigarette hanging out of my mouth, I just keep walking, pretend like the dog doesn't belong with me and that I am just out for a morning stroll. I pretend that I haven't witnessed this and that it isn't any concern of mine anyway. I just kept walking. I'm pretty sure that is one of the worst things I have ever done.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! Awesome. Like, what choice did you have?